How to Support a Loved One Facing Incarceration
WRITE THEM!!!
Number one write your loved ones! Back in the day when I first got locked up, things were a lot different, we got real mail and there was no better feeling than hearing your name called at mail call. Seeing your loved ones handwriting on the outside of the envelope and opening it up to find letters, photos and drawings. A couple of years ago they got rid of regular mail in the Florida prison system (due to people smuggling drugs in the mail) and now the only way to get mail is via email. Which is still a great feeling! When you refresh your prison tablet and see a new email in there you feel like you’re not alone, you still have a connection to the outside. Be careful what type of photos you attach. The officers can be very petty and reject a photo (and thus your whole email to your loved one because the attachment is apart of the email) because the picture is considered to risque, has “gang signs” and all kinds of other BS! I have had emails rejected for simply doing the peace sign! So start by downloading the Jpay app, and the securus app and add your loved one to your account and START WRITING. Even if it’s short. Send them something to know that you’re okay and that you are thinking of them. NOTHING IS MUNDANE. We want to hear about your daily normal life. You can literally talk about anything and it will be great.
ANSWER THE PHONE!
It can be hard, but set up a good schedule for when you’re loved one can call. Maybe a certain day, or a certain time frame during the week. But remember they are restricted on what times they can call you. If their dorm in on lock down or its count or past 11pm during the week they will not be able to call. Phone lines can be crazy. A LOT of dorms only have a couple phones and there is around 68-71 inmates in one dorm all trying to use the phone. So if you can answer even to say “hey sorry I love you but im at work, or im in a meeting, or whatever but I LOVE YOU and give me a call back if you can at this time or on this day.” When your loved one doesn’t answer the phone it can feel very isolating and feeling of abandonment and worry can set it. Are they okay? they didn’t answer.. etc
You can buy them magazine subscriptions, books, and if they are approved sometimes even jewlery. Packages are available at most of the prisons, and it’s imperative to get them good clothes like sneakers, sweaters, underwear and bras. Depending where they are you will have to send them the money and have them order the package themselves.